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I spent most of yesterday and last night trying to figure out why RYAN MALLETT is so out of touch with what the rest of AMERICA does for a living. He is in a rare situation. His bosses want to get rid of him but since only one other guy does what he does on the TEXANS he was still ON THE TEAM AS I TYPE AND WAS ABOUT TO RECORD this bit of sheer brilliance. IN additon to his salary of over 2 mill per season, he made over $63,000 just for showing up this past Sunday. It;s his "on the roster bonus". Not just for last week, but for each week he puts on the uniform and either plays or stands around looking bored. I would do it for half that and be an even more ridiculous story. I have not thrown a pass in anger since LBJ was the Prez. However, I NEVER ONCE GOT HUNG UP IN TRAFFIC OR OVER SLEPT. I should have called in confused while in the MARINE CORPS, but it never dawned on me I could get away with it. I should have called MALLETT'S relatives to get some incite.
I can see it now." STAFF SGT. PAYNE , I WON'T be going on patrol this morning as the TANK TRAFFIC was ridiculous. I barely had time to get my FLAK Jacket on when I realized I missed everything.., so I just want to say I am sorry." Yea, that would be a plan. Except I WOULDN'T HAVE AN AGENT pleading my case and after all was said and done I wouldn't go penalty free. THE NF-HELL ISN'T A BATTLE GROUND, it's a fantasy land. THE AVERAGE SALARY IS $1.9 MILLION so maybe toeing the line is a good thing. I am also figuring those old timers who miss the Oilers realize THE TEXANS are coming very close to making your bad memories come alive. Come to think about it, since Mallett had to fly commercial and pay his own ticket those COMPLETELY OUT OF TOUCH might think that was punishment enough. Yea, right. I gotta figure Ryan must have found an easier way to make a couple of mill a year.
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